My Soldier
by justaluckybug
Summary: He was a soldier. He always was. He called me to tell me he'd fallen in love with her. She made my soldier believe he could live again. This is a songfic from Maria's point of view. I don't own Twilight or "Soldier" by Anna Nalick.


My Soldier He was a soldier

_He always was_

_He left his city to fight for America_

I knew the minute I saw him that he was the one. I know it sounds cliché but that's just how it went . . . at least for me. Apparently, he didn't love me like I thought, he was my soul mate but I wasn't his. Nonetheless, he loved me. Whether it was because he was young, in a sense, or because I loved him, I don't know. But he did love me. He did. Even though we were monsters and killers we were in love and we didn't care about anything else . . . or at least that's what I thought.

_And we fell in love to music_

_We were just kids_

_We didn't have time to be sorry for what we did_

And when he was sad, I could tell. Not because he let me feel the despair he felt whenever he killed one of them; no it was in his eyes. The sorrow and misery gleamed like a beacon in his beautiful blood red eyes.

And I would try to sooth his soul with promises of power and glory. How was I to know that wasn't what he wanted? I told him, in the end, the world would remember us as brave and unbeatable. And he said, "At what price?"

_And I said hey, boy_

_What you crying for?_

_It'll be okay in the end_

_And if this life doesn't give you the love you expect_

_There's always the next_

I followed him to that dinner in Philadelphia. I did. He didn't know, but I did. Not because I wanted revenge, like some might tell you, but because I loved him. I did.

I saw her. I watched as that _girl_, that stupid little girl, held his hand and I watched as she made him laugh. He'd never laughed for me. It was a beautiful sound. And so was she. She _was_ pretty, I knew that. But she was just a girl and I was woman; she was pretty but _I _was beautiful. He chose her anyway. He held her little hand in his and went with her to wherever it is they went. I don't know where they are. I stopped going after him. He loved her. He did.

_She was a pretty Texas girl_

_An answer to his prayers_

_He called me to tell me he'd fallen in love with her_

_She sang like an angel_

_Loved like a friend_

_She made my soldier believe he could live again_

I might have checked up on him over the years. Just to make sure he was all right. Because maybe he did shatter my heart but I loved him and if she ever made him unhappy, she would pay the price.

But he _was _happy. More than happy, he was ecstatic. He was content with his strange new way of life, with this strange girl that had taken what was mine. Whatever she told him, whatever it was, he listened. And he loved her; and she loved him. They had something I had longed for all along. They had their soul mate. But how was I to have that too, if mine was already taken.

_When she said hey, boy_

_What you crying for?_

_It'll be okay in the end_

_And if this life doesn't give you the love you expect_

_There's always the next_

I let him be. I let him fall in love with his other half and I _let _him marry her and be happy. While I searched for someone that could fill the void in my heart; the vast hole that was made by Jasper Whitlock.

_So I'll be a gambler_

_He'll be home free_

_And he'll marry Texas and I'll marry melody_

I started to live like he did. I don't know why, I loved the taste of human blood. And the longing I had for it was excruciating. But I drank the blood of animals, just as he did.

I suppose it was because, somewhere deep inside of me, I believed that if we ever met again, he would see what I had become; he would see how I had changed for him, and maybe, just maybe, he would take me back.

I wanted to grow for him. So that is why I let go of all my hate and anger I had for that _little girl_ and made myself believe she was better for him then I could ever be.

_So love like my soldier_

_Fight for what's true_

And smile at the gates 'cause their hate don't belong to you

As I wallow in my self-pity, he pulls her closer to him as they stand on the porch of the house they share with their . . . family. He says something to make her giggle and I turn away. And as I walk deeper in to the woods and farther away from my only love, I try to see things as he would. But I can't because he is much better person than I am, that is why we are not meant to be. We are a square peg and a round hole. But he had found his other half his, "round peg", so why couldn't I?

And as the sun sunk lower in the horizon, and I walked farther away, I wonder if I ever would be able to find my "square hole". Or if any one in this life could surpass the expectations left by one Jasper Whitlock.

_Hey, boy_

_What you crying for?_

_It'll be okay in the end_

_And if this life doesn't give you the love you expect_

_There's always the next_

***------*------*------*------*------*------*------*------*------***

**So yeah, I just thought of this. I figured everyone always makes Maria out to be a bad person, but what if she really **_**did**_** care about Jasper? So it's just a sad little thing. Tell me what you think. This is my first Twilight fanfic, just so you know. Please Review! Thanks for reading!**

**-Sammy-**


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